1/11/99 Jason Nachamkin csu-atmos
At Christmas, David Mocko gave his sweetheart, Alison, a snowflake necklace to
match the earrings he gave her last Christmas. Jason came to visit them, saw
the earrings, and said "Oooh, nice dendrites!".
1/11/99 Charlotte DeMott csu-atmos
Paul DeMott noticed Charlotte expressing bewinderment while reading to daughter
Maggie from a "point to the picture - find the word" book.
Says Maggie while pointing to a picture of an airplane,
"A...A...Airplane," then finds the word in the list.
Says Charlotte while pointing to the clouds in the picture,
"A...A...Altocumulus. Hey they don't have that one on there!"
2/1/99 Frank Marks, Jim Kossin, Matt Eastin hrd, csu-atmos
It was a dark and smokey pub, on the other side of the tracks, south side of
Dallas. Neon signs hissed in the darkness as colored light refracted off broken
beer bottles and pavement sparkles. A handfull of AMS refugees had gathered
there at the Copper Tank on a Thursday night in January to nurse some local
brews and burn a stogie. Some had given talks, others presented posters, but
all were trying to collect their thoughts and unwind after a blistering week of
mind-numbing atmospheric revelry.
Inside the pub, conversation drifted and music throbbed - young urban
professional males attempted to interact with female counterparts in stochastic
fashion, occasionally convincing one to writhe for a moment or two on the dance
floor. In the corner, pool tables,aaaaaaaa fussball, and air hockey beckoned.
Suddenly, a small group formed around a table and stood transfixed for the
better part of an hour, completely oblivious to the pulse of humanity swirling
Was it ale sampling? a poker game? a philosphical discussion? No, the faint
blue glow reflected in Jim Kossin's and Matt Eastin's face betrayed the presence
of Frank Marks' laptop computer in their midst. What could they be staring at
with such intensity?
supermodels? stock market returns? Wrong again - apparently the night life
charms of a Dallas brewpub at 11:30 pm were no match for the lure of animated
hurricane radar images...
2/8/99 Dave Keller
Stumpf was reminded of a time several years ago when Dave brought his weather
radio into Garfield's restuarant in Norman OK, a place where they put the
freezer paper on the table and give you crayons. He used the obs on the weather
radio and the crayons to plot the hourly obs! Then, when tone alter went off
when the Tornado Watch was issued, he quickly paid his tab and bolted out the
2/8/99 Don Dazlich csu-atmos
During a noon hour workout with 5 CSU Atmos folks, the discussion of the
previous night's low temps ensued. Doug Cripe mentioned his low was -10C and
and wondered what that was in farenheit. IMMEDIATELY with no pause whatsoever,
Don chirped up that it was 14F. Nice goin, Don.
2/22/99 Don Lloyd
Don, Wisconsin resident/chaser, and likely future inheriter of The Gilbert Zone
offers the next level of video gaming for the Nintendo or Sega system near you!
STORMCHASER! the Game!(c)!!!
Yes, that's right, "STORMCHASER! the Game!(c)" is now available for those long
winter nights when SDS has driven you to watching the water drain out of your
bathtub, again, again, and again.
Incredible 64-bit action right on your PC! This amazing game generates random
scenarios complete with surface maps, upper air data, and model runs of the
RUCII and ETA. You make the forecast, plan the chase route, and drive there in
style one of six preset chase vehicles including Carson Ead's Stormtracker and
the infamous Meatwagon!
Several great modes of play:
Never chased before? Baffled by all that stoopid weather jargon like
ageostrophic and isentropic? Get great chase pointers from an onboard panel of
advisers including Tim Marshmallow, Greg Stumped, Psycho Jim, and Gene Less!
- Realistic: Receive a bogus SPC discussion, incomplete surface data, bad runs
of the ETA, a slow internet connection, and Roger Edwards as your default
chase partner. The Meatwagon is the only chase vehicle available for this
mode. Good luck! (you'll need it)
- Perfect chase: SPC gets this one right! The model data arrives on time and
is right on the money! Great upper air data and all stations are reporting!
Al Pietrycha is the default chase partner in this mode. Sit back and fire up
the vid cam!
- Twister mode: For rookies, no knowledge required. NSSL phones regularly with
the location of F5 tornadoes. Great graphics complete with flying cows which
are later served for lunch at Aunt Meg's. Dusty is your default partner in
this mode. See ya in the Suck Zone chasers!
- Historical: Chase some of the greatest hoses of all time! 20 great all time
hits from the annals of SigTor. Tom Grazulis is the default partner in this
mode. Play Tornado Trivial Pursuit (coming soon from Parker Brothers) with Tom while you chase and score extra points!
- Impossible: Chase those great early season storms in a Boeing 747
retrofitted with great chase gear like pulse-doppler, NEXRAD realtime, and
- Media mode: No rules in this mode. Score extra points for being first on the
scene, running other chasers off the road, and getting video ofbodies flying
through the air. No default partner in this mode since you already know it
- Cut-throat: Not for the faint of heart. Head out armed not only with your
wits but with an AK47 and hand grenades. Brave knife-wielding biker-chaser
crazies, a slew of nasty yahoos, and cloud-seeders flying F14 Tomcats who are
just waiting to blow your chase vehicle to atoms. Makes "Doom" look like an
afternoon picnic. Even the tornadoes have attitude!
- Scientific: Pretend for once that you're not an adrenelin junkie and chase
for the love of science. Eric Rasmussen is your partner on this enlightening
Why waste thousands of dollars and all that time running around the Plains when
you know you're gonna bust anyway! Stay home, crack open a six-pack, and have
some real fun!
Order now and receive a dozen microwavable Allsup's burritos at no extra
charge!!! Offer only good to the first 30,000 orders.
Order STORMCHASER! the Game!(c) NOW!!!
2/22/99 Roger Edwards spc
While visiting the Texas Tech wind engineering department, the technicians shot
a 2x4 into a solid brick re-inforced wall to demonstrate their famous air
cannon. After watching the 2X4 go to a million pieces, Roger went over to the
floor and grabbed the biggest piece to bring home with him.
3/15/99 Lt Richard Shull usaf
The A/C in Sgt Benjamin Wretlind's office was malfunctioning to the point of
putting the Nexrad PUP out of commission. While the base civil engineers were
in working on it, the office space became unevenly heated. 2nd Lt Richard Shull
(new to the world of weather) walked from one end of the room to another and
noticed a significant temperature differential. "Look!" he cried. "A
baroclinic zone!" After saying this, he proceeded from the cold end to the warm
end saying "I am a parcel! See me rise!"
3/22/99 Bob Stokes The Weather Channel
While discussing the storms in Texas and their effects on travel the other night,
Bob commented that "tonight is a bad night to be out [on a date]...maybe you and
your date should stay home, enjoy each other's company, watch the Weather Channel
3/22/99 Greg Stumpf nssl
Is he bucking for it? Greg sent Iwitt the following. "check this out:
this is a keylime after-dinner candy....note the well-formed reflectivity hook.
(or course, turning it upside down gives the southern hemisphere version)."
4/2/99 Tim McClung nws-oxr
While Tim was giving spotter training seminar in January, he talked about
tornado safety and mentioned about how they always hit trailer parks, except he
didn't call them trailer parks...he inadvertently kept calling them "tornado
4/26/99 Phillip Spencer nssl
A classic slipup in the true nature of the WWW... Phillip was with a friend who
was concerned about sunburn on his nose. Phillip suggest he used some
sunscreen, perferably SPC-40 (obviously, he meant to say SPF-40).
5/20/99 The Onion satirical newspaper
The Onion contains an article on "Tornado Violence" which can be seen at:
5/26/99 George in Arkansas (email@example.com)
Arkansas F scale:
- F0 - clears cans from front yard, coon dog hides under trailer
- F1 - still overturned, mailbox set upright, cows spooked
- F2 - roof tin ripped off house, trees supporting porch uprooted, lawn mowed
- F3 - chicken houses destroyed, cars knocked off blocks
- F4 - pigs fly, yards cleared, residents "get religion"
- F5 - roads graded, housing improved, day of storm becomes Year 1
- F6 - inconcievable - can't count that high
6/15/99 Gilbert Sebenste College of DuPage
Memorial Day he was forecasting with some students at the College of DuPage.
After a trying day, Gilbert announced that he would pay for the first (and only)
round of drinks. Everyone announced what they were going to have, but one person
wasn't sure. Gilbert asked him, "Are you going to have a Red Rock?" (meaning
"Rolling Rock", but thinking a certain tornado outbreak!).
7/30/99 Greg Walker NASA/GSFC
Austin Conaty saw Greg walking down the hail and wanted to show off the picture
of his fiance Agnes. So Austin asked Greg - "Hey, do you want to see a picture
of Agnes?". Greg responded excitedly with "Wow, you have a satellite picture of
Hurricane Agnes from 1972?"
7/30/99 David Mocko NASA/GSFC
Numerous voters pointed out that David Mocko, who had nominated Greg Walker,
wrote "walking down the HAIL" instead of "walking down the hall", so David was
duly nominated. In his defense, David (one of the 3 'no' votes) said that the
'i' and 'l' were too similar to discern between on his particular font, but
we're not buying it.
9/27/99 Connie Uliasz csu-atmos
While washing dishes, Connie noticed a soap bubble floating around the kitchen,
and her thoughts immediately turned to 'the Lagrangian bubble' as it moved.
10/5/99 Jim Steenburgh UU
During a routine map briefing at the University of Utah, the briefer notices a
line of cumulus clouds forming along a boundary parallel to the Utah-Nevada
border, first south near Las Vegas, then later north near Elko and Wendover.
Prof. Jim Steenburgh interrupts the briefer to comment:
"It must be from the gradient in CIN (sin)."
It took the briefer a moment to recover from the laughter in the room.
10/19/99 Steve Hodanish NWS Pueblo
"I hate the idea of ratting on myself for the weather weenie of the week...but,
during the Monday night game (Miami vs Buffalo), the Valvoline Oil commercial of
the "baby in the womb of the mother" came on. This is the commercial that shows
a sonogram of a baby in the womb with the kid wiggling around. This kid then
takes a position as if he is starting a car, and then shifting the gears. The
audio of the commercial has the "car" starting and revving as the fetus "shifts
up in the gears".
One of the guys I was with never saw this commercial and started laughing. I
then blurted out; "Nah, this commercial has been on for awhile, anybody who
watches NCAR races on TV has seen this a million times". Obviously, I meant to
EDITOR'S NOTE: The WWW board was initiated with Steve in mind, and several of
the reviewers referred to Steve as a "WWW Fellow" and a "Weenie Archetype". Nice
to see you back on the board, Ho, and feel free to narc on yourself any day.
10/19/99 Mark Branson csu-atmos
While golfing, one of Mark's playing partners hit a shot that missed the target
significantly to the right. Mark made the comment "we like storms that move to
the right, but not necessarily golf shots".
11/18/99 John Fausett NWS El Paso
Check out this guy's homepage at El Paso office.
In particular click on the "Best of John Fausett" on that page. You need
realplayer to listen to the songs.... This of course includes your favorite and
11/18/99 Gene Moore
Gene, a chaser from San Antonio, said, "A bigger question is what happens when
we all get (really) old. I plan to make big bucks when I open the
Inflow-Outflow Geriatrics Center for old (but not retired) chasers in Plainview
TX. Each room will have May 3rd debris murals on the wall, the Weather Channel,
furniture selected from various damage paths, DSL Internet connections and fast
wheel chair/ gurney ramps to the facilities chase bus."
11/18/99 Sheila Long
Mark Branson was telling her that he might try to lure people to come to the
upcoming 5mark3 (local garage band comprised of a number of Weather Weenies)
show by announcing that they were going to raffle off a picture of lead
guitarist from CSU Atmos, Mel Nichols. In reply to that, this is what she
wrote: I THINK YOU SHOULD RAFFLE OFF A WEATHER WEENIE ITEM ??? WHAT WOULD THAT
BE? A THERMOMETER? A CHASE VIDEO? A DUCK BAROMETRIC PRESSURE (YA KNOW
THOSE LITTLE WATER ONES.... )
11/18/99 Steve Hodanish nws-pub & Ian Wittmeyer csu-atmos
These two simultaneously pointed out the possible existence of a supercell in
the background of a scene from a "batteries plus" commercial.