music and lyrics by Taz Fujita, 1997
You see it coming like a nightmare Darker than your fears You scream as the gust front overtakes you But no one hears Wall cloud forming right above you You feel the pressure drop Look up and watch the sky start turning Pray that it will stop CHORUS Take a ride straight to hell On the mesocyclone carousel Caught in the inflow - no escape A loud roar deafening your ears A sound you've never heard You run but the wind's too strong Tasting high speed dirt Suddenly the ground disappears Sucked in and spinning Higher and higher in the updraft Hell is just beginning CHORUS Whipped around like a rag doll In the churning storm Naked, cold, bruised and battered Clothes and flesh are torn Carried for miles away from home No way to be saved Finally you escape its grip and fall Cold, wet ground your open grave CHORUS Sucked up and flung to your final resting place, you have become another piece of debris!
CHASERS ON A BUST
lyrics by Ian Baker, 1997 (tune to the Doors, RIDERS ON THE STORM)
chasers on a bust chasers on a bust no debris only dust that wind was just a gust we need gas in the bus i'll corepunch if i must chasers on a bust convergent zone ahead cell growing-no its dead vacation days are gone my wife sits home alone been in the car so long nerves in my ass are gone chasers on a bust yeah...
Initially from the Rocky Mountain News, "BEST EXPERIMENT" "If you are caught without an umbrella when it starts to rain, will you stay drier by running to shelter instead of walking? Thomas Peterson and Trevor Wallis, of Asheville, N.C., both climatologists, calculated that running made one 44% drier over 100 meters (about 328 feet). To test their findings, they measured off a 100-meter course and waited for it to rain. They wore identical dry clothing that had been weighed before the test (they wear the same size) and wore plastic bags under their clothes to trap any water that might seep through. Peterson walked the course, while Wallis ran. Afterward, they weighed the clothes again. The result: Wallis' clothes were 40% drier. Frankly, we'd take a cab."
february: we are in the day 2 general thunderstorm outlook! we are
in the day 2 general thunderstorm outlook!
march: why won't that moisture make it farther north than the red river before another @!^%*^% cold front comes through. how many days are in this month, anyway?
april: ok...where's the severe weather...i'm tired of talking about it...bring it on...whats that on the radar? snow? NOOOOO!
may: finally! the sweet sound of the weather radio at 12:30 a.m....the call into work at 1 a.m....i LOVE my job!
june: ok...can't i just get ONE good night's sleep? i wonder what would happen if i turned the ringer off on the phone. i think my wife has forgotten my name...
july: northwest flow SUCKS...i havent had a good night's sleep in months, the wife took the kids and went to her mother's...she was mumbling something about "weather widow"...
august: now THIS is getting rediculous...whatever happened to hot and dry in august? if i see one more meso, bow or lewp, i am going to puke...
september: hey...it has actually been a week since i was called in...the wife is back from her mother's and actually remembers my name...the kids have grown...what were their names?
november: i wonder if there is any thundersnow in that?
december: tired of snow now...maybe i will get a tornado video for christmas...
january: there has NEVER been a tornado reported in this state in this month...can't we just skip january?
february: we are in the day 2 general thunderstorm outlook! we are in the day 2 general thunderstorm outlook!
Our Holton who art in Washington Hallowed be thy Name Thy vorticity come Thy divergence will be done On the surface As it is at 500mb, Give us this day our radiative transfers Forgive us our forecast misses And forgive those who forecast against us Deliver us from baroclinicity Lead us not into heat sinks For thine is the perturbation, the instability; and the K index forever. -- M. Buckingham 1979 -- Head Priestess
Thompson was jealous and was trying to come up with a good storm anagram using his name. After coming up empty for several days, he asked Matt to try his brain on Greg's name and Matt produced the following: "progeny, storm hog".
Erik Rasmussen to glazed over blonde: "...So you see, I've been trying to tell them for years that it's not a cascade. You can have a meso develop at the same time as the tornado..."
Over in the corner, it's Tim Marshall: "...Gene, I'm telling you, we
fix a pulley to the axle of our trailer, run a 120V transformer up to it, and we
can use it to power the Weather Channel DSS..."
Gene: "...Yeah, but we better patent it before Faidley makes one, paints it black and calls it StormGenerator(tm)."
Sam Barricklow at the bar: "...Here's a QSL card from some guy in New South Wales, this one is from Santa Fe, Argentina -- I was in Pampa, he was ON the pampa..."
Doswell and Stumpf: "...Landspout" "Gustnado" "Landspout" "Gustnado"
Tom Grazulis, behind a yellowing pile of local papers: "...according to these guys, a parrot was found fifty miles away, screaming 'wow, what a rush!'...that's patently untrue, later studies by Fujita documented that a parrot will only fly thirty miles before losing it's ability to speak."
And here's Warren hitting on the waitress: "...and before I got into chasing, I was the guy they called when a nuclear reactor was getting hot. I'd go into the reactor vessel and put the graphite rods in manually. For a while, I put out oil well fires..."
They're building a giant archway spanning Interstate 80 in the middle of the state and drawing up plans for a 610-foot stainless-steel tower resembling a tornado near Omaha.
"We don't have anything that's vertical here,'' said artist Robert Hogenmiller Jr., explaining why he is designing Vortex the Tornado Tower, a $35 million contraption that would use lasers to create the illusion of a spinning twister.
"P.S. FOR FUN--I TOOK SOME RUBBING ALCOHOL AND SPREAD IT ON OUR PORCH IN A LOCATION WHERE 'WEAK' VORTICIES WERE BEING SHED OFF OUR HOUSE...I LIT THE RUBBING ALCOHOL AND THE VORTICIES AMPLIFIED DRAMATICALLY AS THEY WERE STRETCHED BY THE HOT FIRE --A FEW EVEN ROARED A BIT AS THEY REALLY WOUND UP --SOME REACH HEIGHTS OF 5 TO 8 FEET--AND LASTED UP TO 30 SEC--THEY WERE REALLY FUN TO WATCH--BETTER THAN ANY TORNADO CHAMBER VORTEX I EVER SAW--"
10. "Willy Willies in Wagga Wagga and a Big Donk in the Bushy"
- Severe Weather in Australia.
09. "Insignificant Tornado Chasers" - New Activities of the Tornado Project.
08. Penn State Bites! (no further info).
07. "Who Has the List of Tow Truck Phone Numbers?" - Highlights From SubVORTEX '98.
06. "Helicity - Schmelicity" -the Problems with Forecast Indices.
05. "It in fact sounded NOTHING at All Like a Freight Train" - Oral Histories of Human - Tornado Interface and the Occasional Hallucination.
04. The Direct Correlation Between the Incidence of Wildflower Images that have Migrated into Presentations and the Age of the Presenter.
03. "F-5 MY ASS!" - Contemporary Problems in Tornado Damage Assessment.
02. "Bulk Richardson" - is NOT a Professional Wrestler.
01. The "Muscle Test" versus the RUC and NOGAPS - Preliminary Findings.