1/6/97 Chris Landsea noaa-hrd
Responding to the response of the 'star trek storm in the gulf' nomination,
Chris submits the following.
In the 22nd century, the Federated planets attempted to implement Dr. Bill
Gray's idea about burning heavy petroleum to make clouds of carbon black in the
periphery of the hurricanes to reduce their strength (Gray et al. 1977, _JAM_).
Not only didn't the hurricanes weaken, but they intensified and developed - in
addition to the classic hurricane 'eye' - a new feature later termed the
notorious hurricane 'nose'. Soon thereafter Hurricane Ho made landfall over
Washington DC and sneezed the city into obliteration. The Federation, realizing
that this was a good thing, allowed the seeding to continue.
1/6/97 John Knaff csu-atmos
Some of the folks around atmos periodically engage in games of Quake over the
net. One of the weapons at the player's disposal is a grappling hook. Well
knaff, being the true wx weenie that he is, cannot seem to stop calling it the
"grauple-ing hook". Also in the verb sense: when asked after a game, "hey john,
how did you get up on that ledge?", he responds, "well i graupled it with my
1/13/97 Avery Wittmeyer Witt son
Kelley was cleaning Avery's window and noticed a green length of rubber string
laying on the roof outside the window, but held on one end by the closed
window. When asked what this was, 5 yr old Avery replied that was his weather
string. When it's blowing around, he knows to wear something warmer. When it's
wet, he knows to dress for rain...
1/27/97 Steve Hodanish nws-mlb
Steve was relating an experience of his where he had consumed a number of
alcoholic beverages and how he was feeling fine until he went to bed, at which
time his enjoyment pretty much ended in a hurry. He was asked if he got
'bedspins', to which he replied: "i went from clear air mode to a tornado on the
ground in about 3 minutes!"
1/27/97 Ian Wittmeyer csu-atmos
When driving back to Atmos from lunch on a recent day, Mark Branson and Ian Witt
noticed some cumulus clouds over the foothills. After Ian jokingly said "it was
going to fire", Mark recalled the line uttered by the air force general from the
movie 'Wargames': "Take us to Defcon 2." (defcon=defense condition). Ian then
said it should be called "Chasecon 2" in this case, and then he proceeded to
define the different Chasecon levels, where 1 would be a the occurrence of a
tornado, 2 would be the observance of a rotating mesocyclone, etc. and the
lowest alert status would be Chasecon 5, which would just be the presence of
some towering cumulus clouds.
NOTE: Mr. Branson agreed to plead guilty to the misdemeanor charge of
"aiding and abetting a weather weenie" in return for his testimony against Mr.
Wittmeyer. He is now officially entered into the WWW witness protection program
2/10/97 Kim Elmore nssl
After the Weather Weenie of the Week moderator accidently sent the voting list
out to the regular email list, Kim sent back the following, "Ah... I'll bet This
is a spurious case of WWW Vote Advection; I'd check the boundary conditions and
rerun this case :)".
2/11/97 Chris Jackson & Brian Crumpler ou-atmos
These guys are taking Meteorology 1004 taught by Dr Josh Wurman. Wurman assigned
a homework set including analyzing several skew-t data and deciding what time of
day they were taken. Brian apparently has archived skew-t's over the last few
months for reasons only a weather weenie might understand. So they found several
of the hw skew-t's in this bunch and used them for the assignment. The next
class Wurman goes into this long explanation why one of the skew-t's is a 00Z
and not a 12Z sounding, but it turns out that it WAS a 12Z sounding. So Chris
raises his hand and politely explains that it is 12Z and produces the evidence.
Wurman was apparently "bummfuzzled", first that he was wrong and second that
someone actually KEPT an archive of skew-t's. Good luck on your grades, kids.
2/11/97 Hannah Wittmeyer Witt kid
Before leaving for work and the school bus, Ian sat down to watch a little
Weather Channel as usual. Hannah, 6, came and sat down next to him and said,
"dad? you know sometimes i just watch that weather thing and i don't know why".
Said Ian, later, "Isn't that awesome?"
2/24/97 Donna Landsea
Donna felt obligated to purchase the children's tape and accompanying booklet,
entitled "I'd Like to be a Meteorologist" for some friends who are expecting.
Said tape contains such catchy tunes as "The Water Cycle" and "Hurricanes and
2/24/97 Matthew Biddle ou-geography
Matt sent the WWW list moderator several emails in which he tried, to some
extent, to dissassociate himself with the true Weenie crowd. An anonymous
person wishes to nominate Matt for the following, and make sure that Matt gets
his Just Desserts for true Weenie behavior.
More incriminating evidence was brought forward but the list moderator thought
it wise to stick to the above. Insists anonymous person, "He IS the KING
- Matt has a hockey helmet for rough chases.
- He has a VORTEX hockey jersey.
- He quit a $40k/yr job to move BACK to Oklahoma to "finish grad school".
- On the Feb 10, 1997 front page of the state business newspaper, The Journal
Record, in an article about chase tours he was quoted as saying, "I sort of
see myself as a kind of weather mercenary."
3/2/97 David Mocko nasa-gsfc
Commented that United's wall carpet design at front of cabin looked just like a
X-Z cross section through Ft Collins of potential temperature produced by the
RAMS model from a downslope wind event.
3/2/97 Hannah Wittmeyer Witt daughter
Yesterday on the way home from school, Hannah asked Ian, "daddy, when are we
going to have storms again? i like storms, the way they look and the way they
sound. storms make the sky look really neat."
3/18/97 Dave Mocko & Mike Meyers nasa-gsfc & nws-gjt
Each of these guys was nominated independently for noticing IMMEDIATELY the
change of The Weather Channel map studio. Mocko called Zach Eitzen up out of
the blue and wanted to know what Zach's thoughts were on it. Meyers came home
from work, turned on TWC and likewise said to Ian Wittmeyer, "Hey look at the
new setup". It was uncertain, however, if Meyers was noticing Christina
Abernathy's dress line or the actual new image format...
Eric Gross fsu
Following a thread of putting a chaser cam on the dash of a chase vehicle which
would then display video images to a web URL, he predicts the following
Oh yes, what a winner of an idea! I can see it now, as us desk-bound chasers
follow the adventures of our more fortunate brethren during the heart of the
My virtual storm chase, May 23, 1997:
0735 AM -- Log on fails (home: AOL provider)
0805 AM -- Log on fails (work: university server down)
0817 AM -- View: front of a sleazy, run-down motel.
0832 AM -- Site crashes in mid-download
0847 AM -- View: McDonald's drive in line. Bubba in rusted Ford pickup in
line ahead is picking his nose
0857 AM -- View: McDonald's drive in line. One car closer to window.
0915 AM -- Server can't find URL
0929 AM -- View: Interstate
0938 AM -- View: Interstate. Sky clear.
0959 AM -- Site crashes in mid-download.
1013 AM -- View: Interstate, back of cattle trailer. Six large, technicolor
bug-splats on windshield.
1039 AM -- Windows locks up attempting to open Netscape.
1101 AM -- View: Interstate, corner of Snickers wrapper visible to lower left.
1141 AM -- Boss walks in while accessing site; abort
1209 PM -- View: A service station. Tan, nubile blonde pumping gas into old
Trans Am at island ahead. View somewhat obscured by drool on windshield.
1242 PM -- View: U.S. Highway. Back of large, dusty International Harvester
tractor towing a harrow. Driver is spitting something out the cab
window. Looks like Copenhagen.
0105 PM -- View: An Alsops
0122 PM -- Server can't find URL
0123 PM -- Netscape crashes trying to reconnect
0124 PM -- Site crashes in mid-download
0145 PM -- View: Miscellaneous Highway, somewhere in Texas panhandle. Sky:
scattered cumulus, little vertical development.
0228 PM -- View: pulled off on side of road; nothing ahead. ?
0239 PM -- View: obscurred, looks like by a map.
0315 PM -- Windows freezes opening Netscape.
0321 PM -- View: railroad crossing, boxcars going by in a blur
0347 PM -- View: front of convenience store; geeky-looking, slightly overweight
pale white male, roughly 30, leaving store with a six-pack of Dr. Pepper
and a bag of Doritos. Assume this must be the chaser.
0418 PM -- Server can't find URL
0423 PM -- View: Farm-to-market road. Vehicle going the other way, looks like
Setzer and Pietrycha.
0437 PM -- View: Farm-to-market road. Back of Setzer and Pietrycha's car.
0458 PM -- Netscape freezes opening site.
0508 PM -- View: Off side of road. Two other vehicles ahead, also off the road.
Five white males, three holding video cams, two setting up tripods.
0515 PM -- View: Same as before, except everyone looking off to the left, two
shielding eyes against glare, one pointing. Sky ahead full of cumulus,
none with noteworthy development.
0517 PM -- View: Same as before, except everyone is packing up and going back to
vehicles. 30-ish white male noted earlier at convenience store is
returning towards camera; looks dissapointed. Note stain on T-shirt,
0541 PM -- Log On Fails (back at home, AOL provider)
0559 PM -- Log on Fails
0613 PM -- View: U.S. Highway, somewhere in the Texas Panhandle. Sky ahead
three-fourths cumulus, a couple of building towers noted.
0654 PM -- View: U.S. Highway, somewhere in the Texas Panhandle. Towers noted
earlier have peaked and diminished.
0721 PM -- View: U.S. Highway, somewhere in the Texas Panhandle. From angle of
the sun it looks like we have turned around. Sky ahead shows a large,
rock-hard, striated tower and back-sheared anvil with an overshooting
top, rising over the horizon in the far distance.
0741 PM -- Site crashes in mid-download
0815 PM -- View: U.S. Highway, somewhere in the Texas Panhandle. Beautiful view
of the setting sun playing across the top of previously mentioned
distant supercell. A quick check to TWC confirms that this meso,
located over SW Oklahoma, is now attended by a tornado warning and
producing large hail.
0855 PM -- URL not available.
0915 PM -- View: Interstate, blurred tail lights.
0955 PM -- View: Convenience store, previously noted white mail buying a sixpack
of Budweiser and a bag of Cheetos.
1028 PM -- View: Front of sleazy, run-down hotel.
1029 PM -- Wife comes and threatens me with bodily harm if I don't turn off the
computer and come to bed.
3/31/97 Charles Edwards ou-met
Charles is nominated for the following three things.
- He has bolted a flip over "Hail shield" to the top of his car so he can
drive into the big stuff and not lose his windshield. It is constructed out
of a wire shelf rack...like you would find at Target.
- He spent all day last Sunday constructing his "Dillo Cam"....which is a
fiberglass housing on a video camera to be placed in front of tornadoes.
- In his aging GMC he now has a laptop, refrigerator, TV, satellite dish, 3
video cameras, monitor, plus the odd assortment of telephones and radios. He
doesnt seem to bother spending his meager funds on simple things....like food
and clothing, reports Mark Herndon.
4/7/97 Reverend Ted Joe Miller
During the private prayer ceremonies for the groom and the groomsmen at Greg and
Julie Stumpf's wedding, the Father Miller prayed that good weather may always be
in Gregs future. Remembering that most of them were severe weather nuts, he
clarified that the term "good" was relative.
4/28/97 Dr William Gray csu-atmos
Following the somewhat well known question who is the only meteorologist to have
his face on the cover of Time (answer: Rossby), Dr Gray started talking in class
about the good old days when he was stationed in the Azores, "The day Rossby
died we flew skew-t's at half staff."
5/27/97 Ian Baker, Mike Weissbluth aster
The following is a glimpse inside some weenie brains, trying to guess if a 6pm
softball game would be rained out, as written by Ian
"yassir, clouds building up nicely. mike and i were talking about the
competing forces for rain tonight, and had it something like this:
prob(rain) = prob(softball) +
prob(mike on bike) -
prob(jeep covered) +
(const)*(amount of water on lawn in past 2 days)
d(softball)/dt is maximized at or after 5:30
(i think const*ln(x) worksquite nicely),
and d(bike)/dt is maximized between 5-6
(a square wavefunction),
while d(jeep)/dt is zero, or a constant.
i think if weissbluth had driven his car today, or if i hadnt watered my lawn
monday night, we would be ok. as it is, it is merely a matter of imbalanced
force. as you can see, the clouds are building nicely.
6/9/97 Gail Cordova csu-atmos
In the e-mail invitation to Prof. Wayne Schubert's BBQ for the folks who helped
out during the hurricane conference, Gail notes Wayne's address as
1419 Wind Field Dr. (actually Winfield Dr.)
6/30/97 Danielle Gibeault uwisc-atmos
Some time back, Danielle's parents found a dog at the local animal shelter by
the name of Max. Her sister started training him in the usual way, ie Sit,
Max!, Down, Max!. Danielle, however, taught him something more valuable.
At the command of Vort, Max!, this rather large dog begins to rotate
rotate cyclonicly, occasionally causing disturbances!
7/28/97 Stephen Hodanish nws-mlb
Ho's NWS colleagues in Melbourne nominate him for inadvertently slipping his
love of tornadoes into a recent Area Forecast Discussion.
AREA FORECAST DISCUSSION
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE MELBOURNE FL
149 PM EDT MON JUN 23 1997
SHORT TERM...GENERALLY FROM STUART N...THREAT OF STORMS WILL BE
DECREASING ALONG COAST AS C BRZ CONTINUES TO MOVE NW ACROSS
PENINSULA. CONVECTION WILL CONTINUE TO INCREASE OVER S 1/2 SXN OF FA
WITH ONLY SCTD STORMS OVER N 1/2 OF FA. S OF STUART...STORMS OVER ATL
WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE INLAND BUT ACTIVITY SHOULD DECREASE WITH TIME
AS THE AFTERNOON PROGRESSES. GIVEN LATEST SOUNDING FROM THE
CAPE...THREAT OF HEAVYR AREAS OF RAIN CONTINUES...BUT WITH STORMS
MOVG DON'T SEE SIGNIF FLOOD THREAT PROBLEM. SVR THREAT
MINIMAL...ESPECIALLY HAIL AND DAMAGING WINDS (THETA E PROFILES
MINIMAL AND WET BULB ZERO VERY HIGH)...HOWEVER LANDSPOUTS (SHORT
LOVED WEAK TORNADOES) CANNOT BE RULED OUT GIVEN BOUNDARY INTERACTIONS
AND SATURATED ATMOS.
7/28/97 Charles Edwards
Hereby nominated for building the Dillocam, a weighted "turtle" with a video
camera in it, defying the documented odds, and the taunting of Matt Biddle and
8/25/97 Steve Hodanish nws/mlb
While Hodanish and Ian Baker were out to dinner one night at a steakhouse,
Steve told the waitress, "I'll have the Fujitas.", in all seriousness meaning
9/15/97 Mark Herndon ou-grad
Matt Biddle and Mark took Jerry Hodak of WXYZ TV Detroit on a guided chase this
Spring. The weather failed to cooperate so at a slow moment, Matt got his
motorcycle helmet with a small fake satellite dish (that rotates) out for gags.
Mark put it on and proceeded to do an interview on camera which was used on the
11 pm news. So looking goofy as , Mark told the interviewer he was
"seeing a lot of oncoming shower activity in the area." They were later told by
WXYZ that many viewers thought the contraption was real and they wanted to
purchase one to use on their boats!
9/15/97 Ben Huffman uw-madison
This summer, Ben was out chasing a storm in Minnesota one evening and stopped in
a small town gas station. While cleaning the windshield, he started flirting
with some of the girls who lived there. The tornado sirens began to wail. Ben
went wild in a "TWISTER" like way (jumping and yelling) as the girls just
looked back towards the sound unmoved. As it turned out, this town turned on the
sirens every night to announce curfew!
11/3/97 Dr Kelvin Droegemeier ou-metr
Dr Droegemeier was explaining the basic idea behind vorticity to his Meteorology
2103 class at Univ of Oklahoma, when he recalled an anniversary dinner with his
wife. He took her to the Eagle's Nest, a rotating restaurant in downtown
During dinner, he decided he wanted to compare the vorticity of the restaurant
to that of a tornado. So he put a sugar packet on the window ledge, and
calculated the time it took to reach the packet again. He then quizzed his
waiter about the approximate radius of the room, and menatally calculated the
11/17/97 Steve Hodanish nws-mlb
A new low was reached in the NWS Melbourne office yesterday. During evening
shift turnover, Randy discussed how things were looking good for severe weather
the following day. Scott from evening shift then asks, "Yea, things sound good,
but how excited is Hodanish?"
11/24/97 Don Dazlich csu-atmos
Don's wife Angela called up to nominate Don. Don was going through a bunch of
mail they'd gotten when on vacation, mumbling off sender's names, when he said,
"Here's one. It's for a rebate for a new car at the Subaru-GCM place". Angela
looked at him quizzically. It was really from GMC. Don said later that now it
makes him want to go out, get a GMC truck and rearrange the letters...